How We Let Facebook Screw Us (Over and Over)


Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

We waste a lot of time on Facebook, that’s the identifying quality of our generation. We are addicted to the site, I think mostly because we are the generation of the entitled and narcissists. Practically everything that happens and does not happen, gets posted on Facebook. We’ve pathetically came down to, “if you didn’t post it on Facebook, did it really happen?”

We know it’s not good for us but we cannot seem to stop. We know they’re selling our information but it doesn’t stop us from sharing more. But deep down, don’t you find it disturbing that someone is actually profiling you for whatever purpose fits them best? And when I say best, I mean that which gives them the highest profit.

The following is an excerpt from David Ebersman, the Chief Financial Officer of Facebook when he attended the Morgan Stanley Technology, Media, Telecom and Conference on February 27, 2013.

So 2 products that we launched last year that sort of fall into category: One is a product called Custom Audiences, and this is an important product for us that allows advertisers to come to Facebook with information they have about their customers. So if you’re a small business and maybe you’re a local coffee shop and you collect email addresses of people who come in and participate in your business, you can then come to Facebook with that list of customers and say, hey, can you show ads to these people. And since we know the email addresses for Facebook users and since most people are Facebook users, we’ve a really high ability to match that list with our user base and we can say, hey, yes, we can make sure we are targeting the message you want to send to those users.

Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

Confession: How I (Still) Make My Open Relationship Work

These are excerpts from the blog post by Kristine deGuzman and has appeared on Huffington Post. A lengthy read but otherwise enlightening.

I’m not going to lie and say our relationship was full of sunshine and daisies after I got back from Spain, because it wasn’t. We dated other people and, yes, slept with other people, and like any normal relationship there were fights and there was jealousy and there was crying — lots and lots of crying.

But in the end, there was and is always a decision — do we give up or do we work it out? And amidst all of the fights, we always chose each other. (Plus, it became kind of kinky to talk about the other people we’d had sex with while having sex with each other — how’s that for dirty talk?)

In the two years that followed my trip to Spain we stayed in a mostly monogamous relationship, though there were a few occasions at parties where he gave me permission to kiss other people (and I, likewise, extended the same courtesy). However, since my boyfriend moved back to LA last September, we’ve returned to experimenting with the boundaries of our relationship, and we’re currently in a long-distance, open relationship.

I think that most of the people who question our relationship do so because they could never imagine themselves in the same situation, and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t think my boyfriend and I have the gold standard of relationships upon which all other relationships should mold themselves, and neither of us goes around telling other couples that they should try spicing things up a bit by sleeping with other people.

What it boils down to, at least for us, is communication — my boyfriend and I talk everyday, several times a day, to the point where my sister now rolls her eyes and says, “Again?! You just talked an hour ago,” whenever she sees my boyfriend calling.

When I envision the trajectory of my life, he is the one I see at the end. He will always be the person I choose when it comes down to it, and I know he feels the same.

So why not have some fun with other people along the way?


Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

For more of Ms. deGuzman’s writings,

Tales Of The Fat Ass

Hello, everyone. I’m guest blogging for the day. I’m trainrides’ fat ass and I would like to tell you about the exciting Sunday we had at the park.

To say that I was surprised would be quite an understatement when trainrides decided early Sunday morning that she would go jogging with her brother and their neighbors. You see she had been contentedly lying on her fat ass, namely me, for so long now. She has an office job so can you imagine the torture?

So anyway, Sunday morning, seems like the saints have heard my pleas and enlightened her to do something about me. With her trainers whom she loves more than me, off she goes to Circle (also known as Quezon City Memorial Circle). Those of you from the metro, I’m sure you’re familiar with the place. But here’s a photo I have googled and apparently was taken by another blogger.



I have been dragged to Circle before but it was when trainrides had breakfast with her friends because you know, eating is her favorite workout. So I was really excited about this workout. Trainrides was surprised that the Circle is crowded on a Sunday morning. And I mean really swarming with people. And not just people, a lot of them has brought their whole families and pets with them.

The Circle seems like a mecca for fitness on weekends from what I gather. There are different activities that you can try. There’s aerobics, kickboxing, tai-chi, brisk walk, biking, badminton and jogging. There are some that you have to pay for to join but most are free. I want to kick trainrides’ butt for not doing this sooner but then I remember I am the butt.



The last time trainrides had run was when she was still living on campus and would do two to four rounds of the UP Acad Oval, depending on her mood and level of laziness. So it was mighty brave of her to do 4 laps, approximately 4 kilometers, her brother said. But of course, it was a combination of jog and brisk walk. But let me tell you this, she was miserable for a good half of the workout. Can you imagine dragging your fat ass for 4 kilometers when you’re used to just sitting around? It was so awful I wanted to laugh. You see, her brother is a big smoker but she was surprised to find out that he could actually run 5 to 6 laps without a hitch.

will break into a dance soon

will break into a dance soon

That’s Evert (her brother) and Kuya Rolly, their neighbor. Kuya Rolly has just turned 60 and had been jogging since he retired from work on his 60th birthday. Tatay Lito who was not in the picture is 65-ish and also works out regularly.

So back to trainrides, first lap was fine. Second lap, she was seriously panting. After the second lap, she tried running on the stairs near the monument, which you can pretty much accomplish in less than a minute. But she spent a good 5 minutes there.  Then she did stretches for a couple more minutes. What a cheat! I’m telling you, she was a big fat cheat. She just the whole running the stairs and stretching as an excuse to take a break.

Third and fourth lap, I thought she was gonna drop to the ground. Her lungs were burning. And out of guilt, I helped her pray for them not to explode. You know what kept her going? Pride. I mean look at her. She’s in her late 20s, non-smoker and only an occasional drinker and she will not forgive herself if she would let her companions know she wanted to stop. She’s that kind of person, big ass and even bigger pride!

after the dance showdown

after the dance showdown

V: Lovely Crazy Tuesdays



Tuesday (18 March 1941)

‘Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.



(Virginia Woolf’s suicide note to her husband Leonard)



Haircuts And Supposed New Beginnings

I have been meaning to have my hair cut. I miss having short hair. I was planning to have it before Chinese New Year but only last Saturday was I able to drag my ass to the salon.


Now most people usually associate haircuts with changes. There are those who get haircut to celebrate a milestone in life. Some get haircuts after a breakup. Most people do it on or before new year. For some, they do it out of sheer boredom. And I happen to know people who does it religiously.

I usually get two to three haircuts a year. They range from a trim to a new style to a really short cut. I also had a three-year stint of curly hair. I have loved it. The only problem with having curly hair (if your natural hair is straight) is to decide when to stop having your hair curled. A tough decision to make, mind you.

So anyway, I’m loving my new hair. It makes me a look a bit more mature — fine, older! But I like it. This cut doesn’t really signify a big change in me but it’s more of a reminder for me to do more of what I want to do. My haircut is a renewal of my oft pushed back promise to live more and be less invisible. Big words, huh? That’s what a new haircut does to me.

3 a.m. Monsters That Are Out To Get You

I work nights and so that goes without saying that I sleep during the day. This has been my lifestyle for almost a decade now. It’s been so long that I am now an honorary vampire though I still haven’t quite warmed up to Edward and Bella since they moved to our neighborhood a few years ago.

On weekends when everybody is fast asleep, I am painfully wide awake. This is on the assumption that I am not out with friends, which actually happen albeit rather sporadically. It has been said that I am gonna inherit the “no social life” crown from Anne Frank. Until now, the executors of her estate have not contacted me so I can breathe easy and be content with my title as the poster child for “practically close to having no social life”.

Please don’t take my ramblings as a complaint for staying at home because I do love staying at home. I just hate it when I’m awake at 3 a.m on a Sunday and is bored to tears with only my tablet to comfort me. And I hate it because of the things I usually end up doing:

1. Eat a lot of junk food.

2. Waste too much time on Facebook.

3. Retweet a lot of jokes.

4. Download apps that usually get deleted on Monday when mind clears.

5. Raid fridge and cupboards amidst complaints of my fat ass.

6. Drink lots of water then pee a lot.

7. Berate self for being single too long.

8. Daydream not being single.

9. Shame self on being shallow and plan to be a better person i.e., volunteer in the community, blog for social causes, work out, go back to school, etc.

10. FB some more and add ex who has initially unfriended me after a breakup gone bad.

11. Undo friend request to said ex.

12. Pray to all the still awake saints who guard Facebook not to send an email notification to ex about friend request.

13. Pray to patron saints of lame ex-girlfriends to plan an accidental meeting/reunion with ex when I’m 30 pounds lighter and preferably engaged or at least with a bald hunk of a boyfriend.

14. Eat heavy breakfast because I survived the night.



Of Feasts and Goodbyes

I’ve known Joboy since we were in diapers.


I grew up with him in Hagonoy. His Mom is my mother’s best friend. Job and I have been roommates for almost four years now. I’m used to having him around: late night TV, junk food bingeing in the middle of the night and bonding over GPS green tea. Needless to say, he’s like a brother from another mother.


Last night, we threw a dinner party for him because he’s leaving for abroad on Tuesday. Just like most of our childhood friends, he has decided to pursue better career opportunities abroad. Will surely gonna miss him.

There was also another reason why we had dinner last night, to celebrate the feast day of Saint Lorenzo Ruiz. He’s the patron saint of Hagonoy.


I haven’t been home for 9 years now, and I miss it so bad. Hopefully I could go home this summer.

Back home, they still celebrate fiesta the grand way with lots of food, people, mass, music and dancing. And since it was a tradition we have observed since we were kids, we still do it now even if we’re far from home. So we had pasta, sisig, grilled pork chop, chocolate mousse and wine. The gesture made us feel closer to home.


Sorry, last photo taken using tablet and so blurry.

St. Lorenzo Ruiz photo from

A Not-So-Typical F Story

So let me share this “beautiful” story that really happened to my friend. Aside from this is too good a story not to be shared, I am also hoping that we would learn an invaluable lesson from this.

Some say, we live in a harsh world while others say that your view of the world is just a reflection of you. What I want to say is that despite and/or because of the harsh reality we live in, we should take the time to smell the roses.

To enjoy the early morning air.

To truly feel the soul of the music you’re listening to.

To appreciate a genuine smile.

To savor that kiss, that hug.

To reflect on the words that we hear and speak.

And all that jazz.

So here’s what happened:




Boy: I want to f*ck you.
Girl: Don’t say that. That’s crass. Please say, “I want to make f*ck with you.”



Just because you’re bang buddies does not mean you can’t be sweet. True? True.


(References: My friend and Ms. Shari VanderWerf @shariv67)

Happy Valentine’s Y’all

VDAY chart

Today is one of the most celebrated days in the whole Hallmarkdom. Seriously, practically everything has been written about today. So I just want to reach out to the single people out there to not feel too alone. Today could really get too harsh if you’re too concerned about your relationship status. Or the lack of it. I’m not going to elaborate on how your family and your friends love you because you know that already. Or maybe not. If so, this is an auspicious day for you to reflect on that. And for the couples out there, well, other than the cliche, “celebrate your love,” I have got nothing else but a tiny request, please don’t shove it in our throats. We get it, okay?

Happy Valentine’s.
May this day turn out better than you expect it to be.